I heard we made out
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
This house was built for laser tag.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You ate ashes out of my bong
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
