I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
