Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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