do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
