she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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