I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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