windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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