hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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