If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
