im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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