video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
