Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
