Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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