my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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