How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am naked and annoyed.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
