Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I'm having to shit out rocks
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