We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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