Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
