so explain again why im purple
no
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
