i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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