I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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