i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
