my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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