my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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