Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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