Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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