why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
