Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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