I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
