she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dick very happy bro
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
