do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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