i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The Olympian is in my bed
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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