Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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