Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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