stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
