I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
