what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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