I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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