too bad you live with your parents still
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
