He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
