Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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