so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
