between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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