You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
