i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You're like the curious george of whores
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You ate ashes out of my bong
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
