She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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