everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
