i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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