i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Im part way to drunk.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
