I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
