just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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