She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
