Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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