no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
